Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
