whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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