That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize