i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
