i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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