opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
