I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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