My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
