corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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