you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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