oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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