Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
