I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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