Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just gift wrapped bread.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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