First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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