So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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