I cannot find my penis.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
