Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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