Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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