I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
