At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize