the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
