is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
