If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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