her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
