what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
