I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize