Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
