My hair reeks of homosexuality.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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