she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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