worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
