i wish my penis had a tongue
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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