I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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