You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
