Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
