I seem to have left my pride at pride
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
