Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
