Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
