when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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