worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
