I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
