On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
