Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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