i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
