YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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