The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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