Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
