So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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