If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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