it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
