wake up i wanna do it froggy style
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
