the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
