After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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