wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
