I'm lost and stupid without you.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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