Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
