I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
