I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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