why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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