idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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