I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I have feelings that need drinking.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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