Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize